


Lost to Red - Revised

by AnnoraRutherford



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Battle, Cullen - Freeform, Cullen romance, Cullen x Lavellan - Freeform, Dragon Age - Freeform, Dragon Age Inquisition, F/M, Inquisition, Mage, The Inquisition - Freeform, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 17:41:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14117529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnoraRutherford/pseuds/AnnoraRutherford
Summary: As The Inquisition battles Corypheus' forces in a small village, Cullen is struck and overtaken by red lyrium, turning him into a red templar. His body controlled by the lyrium, only a sliver of his mind intact as he is forced to attack his true love, Inquisitor Eira Lavellan.





	Lost to Red - Revised

Flames consumed the edges of the battlefield spitting ash back into a toxic red sky. Cries of war trailed around the small village, members of the Inquisition relishing in small victories as they cut down another red templar. Others gasping for one final swallow of hot air, the sealed fate of steel sending them through the fade. The stench of iron hung below the clouds, stinging soldiers lungs. Cullen wrenched his blade from yet another enemy body, watching the mutilated carcass collapse to the blood-soaked ground; a curtain being pulled back to reveal the war behind his own small battles. Surrounded by the plumes of poisonous flame, the wails of children as their homes and lives disintegrated under the fires lust. Colors danced delightfully across the sky as mages soft murmurs cast attacks.

Cullen’s ribs exploded with pain, dropping his sword his legs gave way to the excruciation pulling him to his knees; head flung back his body forcing an uncomfortable roar underneath the crushing weight of his chest. He gazed at the glow of a bright red sky hidden behind the plumes, his lungs desperately pulling for a filling breath that could not be found. The sky spun and whirled around him making his heavy head drop forward finally meeting the source of his torment; a large vein of red lyrium extruding from his torso, a horror’s limb had pierced his body, it twisted and tangled his organs as his flesh fused with the toxic rock. Cullen’s flesh grew hot as the lyrium coursed through his being, poisoning his soul as it began to take over fighting for control of the commander. His body shaking collapsing forward - his hands struggling to catch him; he watched as lyrium erupted from beneath his skin staining him with blood and stone. There was no stopping the imprisonment of the crystal, he’d soon be one of them.

Cullen raised his head from his mangled body - his gaze slowly meeting her. A mess of long black curls swung with her body as she cast spells holding back Corypheus’ forces. Eyes of deep rich soil pulled over her shoulder meeting his as the horror ran another blade through Cullen’s right thigh. Another powerful scream flung itself from his throat. Eira’s glare of focus fell to panic upon seeing her lover’s torture as he slowly disappeared behind the lyrium infecting him. Eira summoned a bolt of lighting striking the horror, attacking Cullen, down. Cullen’s vision blurred only seeing the figure of his love fall to his side gathering his body to her chest. Her steadying heartbeat grounded Cullen while his muscles convulsed and writhed with the lyrium further corrupting his fleeting soul. Eira’s soft fingers delicately played across his jaw teasing the stubble on his chin occasionally, she sweetly grazed the scar that she had always loved to kiss. A blanket of familiarity poured over him as the scent of honeyed peppermint filled his lungs. Battle continued to rage around them, though it felt they were alone

The bite of tears tore at Cullen’s eyes, his flesh boiled and burned; more lyrium tugged at its surface. A craving set in only for Eira’s touch, for her company, even just for her smell, yet Cullen knew if she did not get away from him she would be in danger he could no longer protect her from; with his mind slipping in and out of unadulterated aggression he knew the battle with the lyrium would be over soon and he’d become what he’d always feared. Cullen tried to muster any form of warning for Eira to leave, but all that left him was a weak cough and a swift gasp for air.

_Elgara vallas, da’len_ (The sun sets, little one)  
_Melava somniar_ (Time to dream)  
_Mala taren aravas_ (Your mind journeys)  
_Ara ma’desen melar_ (But I will hold you here)

The melody of Eira’s sweet voice dripped through Cullen’s skull, soft and intoxicating - the Dalish lullaby she sang for the orphaned children of Skyhold, she now hummed for her one love. Despair echoed between Eira’s ribs as she tried to hold back deep sobs while she watched her true love and her future die in her arms unable to heal or to help. All she could do was entangle her fingers against Cullens scalp and carefully tug at his golden curls while he seized.

_Iras ma ghilas, da’len_ (Where will you go, little one)  
_Ara ma’nedan ashir_ (Lost to me in sleep?)

Eira’s tears kissed Cullen’s skin, cooling momentary relief from the utter agony of being washed away by red poison. Another convulsion.

_Dirthara lothlenan’as_ (Seek truth in a forgotton land)  
_Bal emma mala dir_ (Deep within your heart)  
_Tel’enfenim, da’len_ (Never fear, little one)  
_Irassal ma ghil_ (Where-ever you shall go)

Cullen choked fiercely for air, coughing and gagging as his body gave its last fight for control, but it was over with one final breath, lyrium had taken hold leaving only fragments of his mind in tact. Eira’s voice shook, both from fear and despair and she continued to sing...

_Mara garas mir renan_ (Follow my voice-)  
_Ara ma’athlan vhenas_ (I will call you home)  
_Ara ma’athl_ \- (I will call y-)

A new found strength rushed through Cullen’s muscles as he flung Eira several feet away from him; her body releasing a heavy thud as she crashed into the dirt, all oxygen fled from her leaving her trying to gulp in the smoke from the battlefield. As Eira lay struggling to fill her emptied lungs she became Cullen’s only target. He gathered his steel blade back from the earth and charged. No matter how he willed his legs to crumble beneath him, his limbs refused to listen.

Eira hurriedly cast another lightning spell, this time at Cullen’s feet, intentionally missing, but strong enough to fling his lost body back, giving her some time to regain her ground and prepare herself to fight the only person she ever truly loved. Eira rose as Cullen once again, charged her, blade drawn.

Cullen frantically tried to take back command of himself as his sword took aim, ready to strike Eira, but instead his blade was met with her staff as Eira blocked his attack; the sound of their weapons colliding released the ear-splitting screech of metal against metal. The soft glimmer of silver pulled Cullen’s eyes to Eira’s chest where he saw the coin he’d given her on a chain around her neck peeking out from her armor; a symbol of his protection and his presence in times of danger. Eira pushed her staff forcing Cullen to stumble back, the chain around her neck snapping, the coin and the promise plummeting into the filth of blood and war they fought on. The back of Cullen’s skull pounded in anguish - his mind screaming for this to end.

_**Not her… please… Take me! Kill me, instead! Please, I promised her!** _

Eira heaved another powerful lightning spell, missing again, but enough to throw Cullen off his balance falling forward and causing his sword to slipl slightly slicing below Eira’s ribs; her excruciating wail of agony flooded over Cullen as blood flowed from her wound, she desperately clutched at her side as if trying to keep anymore life from spilling.

**_NO! MAKER! WHAT HAVE I DONE? PLEASE MAKE THIS STOP!_ **

Once more, Cullen’s blade hastily made its move toward Eira. She caught him mid-swing with her staff and pulled his blade above their heads, holding them in a stalemate and forcing Cullen’s eyes to meet hers.

“Eira! He’s a monster now, let him go!” Dorian cried out as he tried to force his way through enemies to make it to Eira, to protect her… A promise Cullen was incapable of keeping.

“Cullen… ma vhenan…” Eira weakly smiled through tears, “I know you’re in there somewhere… I…” Eira’s body wracked with a heavy breath trying to soothe the pain she was in. Cullen desperately wanted to respond, but he couldn’t, his fate was sealed. “I can’t do this… I can’t fight you… I love you so much, I just… I need you to know that…” Cullen felt the harsh burn of tears and they fell from his eyes, like acid they licked his toxic skin.

What remained of Cullen’s mind pleaded and begged, desperately crying out, praying in vain that someone could hear him, but no one could and no one would. He watched as Eira’s eyes filled and flooded with grief.

**_Maker no! No! She’s saying goodbye! Please, Eira no! Please run!_ **

“I can’t kill you. You’re still in there… your eyes have never lied to me… Cullen… listen to what I say.”

“Boss! Someone get Cullen off of her!” Bull’s voice rang from the sidelines now, too.

“Someone help her! The Commander! He's a beast now, cut him down at any cost!” Cassandra's cries joined the choir.

Though voices called out to her, Eira’s eyes never once strayed from Cullen’s. “What is happening is not your doing. You are not this monster, this isn’t your fault… I… I’m going to die, but…” _**NO! NO! MAKER NO! PLEASE, EIRA! NO!**_ “I get to decide how…” Eira, smiled at Cullen through her tears, one last time.

**_NO! EIRA! PLEASE, MAKER NO! STOP! DAMN IT STOP! DROP YOUR BLADE, CULLEN! SOMEONE HELP!_ **

“...not many get that choice!” With her words, Eira lifted her staff high above her head, releasing Cullen’s steel to drive heavily into the base of Eira’s neck. Cullen swiftly pulled back his blade and ran it through Eira’s chest with the loud crack of her sternum. The world slowed as Eira released a final wail of cruel pain. Her scream causing more torment than he’d ever experienced and more deadly than the lyrium infesting his body. He looked around as every one of Eira’s companions dropped their battles and running to be at her side. Cullen withdrew his blade and watched as her lifeless body crumpled limply to the ground - her blood joining the mosaic of death surrounding them. The look in she gave him as his sword sent her home tearing every last piece of him apart.

“Eira!” Dorian mourned, running to meet Cole at Eira’s side.

“Darkness falls as the light crashes into the soil, becoming one and feeding the earth beneath a broken body. A last wish. It wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t him. Safe and solid… always.” Cole chanted off, weeping, as he ran his fingers through Eira’s black hair.

“Keep fighting! Dorian, try to heal h-” Cassandra started.

“She’s gone, Seeker. I cannot sa-”

“Just fucking TRY Dorian!” Cassandra commanded! “You!” Cassandra’s eyes locked on Cullen, “YOU KILLED HER!” She raised her sword and sprinted toward him.

Dorian crouched by Eira, looking around as the enemy charged, “Blackwall! Keep them off us!” He began fruitlessly chanting spells, his hands glowing, but it was no use. The lyrium had won, they had won. Eira was dead and it was him that killed her.

Cullen’s hand finally released the hilt of his sword as Cassandra reached him. With the final sharp pain of her steel his world went entirely black.

Cullen shot up, the bitter winter night’s air stung his exposed, sweat-drenched skin in the darkness of the early morning. Still groggy from his deep sleep he instinctively reached over and anxiously rifled through the sheets next to him, as he did many nights after a bad dream, fumbling in search of any semblance of Eira.

“Eira? Eira.” Cullen felt his heart jump into his throat, the sheets were empty and cold. He stood quickly from bed, allowing the entirety of his naked body to be attacked by the mountain’s chill, he yanked back the blankets, _empty._

He spent the night before with her, he could have sworn it. Was this another cruel trick from the withdrawal? Had he really given himself to her? Or her to him? Half asleep his mind toyed with him teasing him with memories he wasn’t sure he had. His head pounded as he reached for the first pair of trousers he could stumble upon in the darkness. Slipping down the ladder Cullen rushed to the door and noticed it was left slightly cracked open allowing the light from the rotunda to spill onto his office floor. _Solas_. Cullen quickly made his way to the apostate, who stood painting, as usual.

“Eira.”

“A good evening to you too, Com-”

“Have you seen her!” Cullen growled, impatient and unwilling for bullshit banter.

“No.” Solas replied, coldly.

Cullen pushed Solas out of his way making his way to the main hall where fires were lit and some refugees sat round them murmuring rumors they’d heard from one another. Two women sat right of where Cullen stood, giggling and blushing as he barged through the door.

“The Inquisitor. Have you seen her?” Cullen demanded of them.

The two women looked at one another and shook their heads ‘no’, “We haven’t Commander, but you’re more than welcome to warm yourself up with u-”

“In there, Commander.” Another woman's voice came from behind him. Cullen turned to see Lace standing by the dinning table ahead of him, pointing toward Josephine’s office door, whilst she glared sternly at the two women. “She came by an hour or so ago.”

Cullen thanked Lace and made his way to her, “Who are those women?”

“Scouts, bad ones, too. Can’t tell an enemy from a hole in the ground. Probably because they’re too busy talking about how dashing our Commander is. Although, you storming through here shirtless won’t help any.” Lace said, once again glaring at the two young girls as they giggled again as Cullen turned to look over his shoulder. “Teenagers. Go, you look worried.”

Cullen nodded his head in thanks and made his way through to Josephine's office. The door on the other side of the room sat open, leading to the war room. He slowly made his way through the hallway, a pit of dread in his stomach; what if she’s not in there? The entry to the war room sat slightly jarred open, there was a soft orange glow leaking from the small slit, as he made his way into the room he could see the delicate figure of Eira. She wore the black lace robe he’d gotten her for her nameday. Cherry blossoms and branches, made the pattern in the lace of the elegant wrap. The candle’s light gently illuminated the grace of her face as she leaned over the war table, deep in thought she had not noticed his presence.

“Eira…”

Eira looked up to the doorway - a delightfully warm smile spread across her face upon seeing her lover, “Hello, my love. Why are you up?”

Cullen moved to Eira, taking her hand trailing her softly into his arms; Eira rested her head on his bare chest as he placed his hand where her spine met her skull. The smell of peppermint tea in her hair wafted and soothed Cullen’s soul.

“Another bad dream?” Eira’s warm breath landed on Cullen’s flesh.

“Yes. The worst I’ve had.”

“You’re alright now, my love. What happened?”

“I… I killed you…” Cullen sputtered, holding back tears, fighting the vivid dream beating against his sanity.

“My love, that’s madness.” Eira leaned back to meet Cullen’s eyes, brushing back one of his wild curls, “I’d kick your ass.”

“Is that so, Lavellan?” Cullen said with a soft chuckle. “You seem to have forgotten our rounds in the sparring ring when we’d first met.”

“I was only going easy on you. I wouldn’t want our Commander to be bested in front of his own men, now would I?”

Cullen grunted and played with one of Eira’s curled locks, “And you think I wasn’t going easy on you? Tsk. Tsk. Here I thought you knew me so well.”

“I know you better than you know yourself, sometimes, my love.” Eira ran her fingers back along Cullen’s bare chest staring at his naked flesh.

“Do you now?” Cullen slyly grinned down at Eira.

“Yes, right now you’re thinking that you think I should be wearing the same shirt you are.” Eira fiendishly looked back up at Cullen, the corner of her mouth teasingly tilted up.

“Mind reader.” Cullen replied, gently pulling the string on Eira’s robe exposing her bare body, leaving her wrap to drape across the bend in her arms.

Cullen leaned down and carefully pressed his lips to Eira’s soft flesh, her skin shivering in little bumps under his exquisite breath as she leaned her head back, inviting Cullen to further explore her. He felt a tug at the strings of his trousers and thrusted himself and Eira against the wall, pinning her between the cold stone and his body.

“I’d never hurt you, Eira…” Cullen whispered in her ear.

“Nor I you, ma vhenan.” Eira sweetly replied, the quiet sound of her robe hitting the floor.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed.
> 
> Any requests for pieces, swaps, or collaborations can be sent to me via. ao3 or on Tumblr @annorarutherford!  
> To see the beautiful artwork for this piece done by @bazgrolnik on Tumblr, go to @annorarutherford and search the tag 'lost to red revised'
> 
> Thank you, again!


End file.
